Wyn’s Laws

Law of the arts:  The better your work, the smaller your audience.

Law of hindsight: No words will awaken the young to the brevity of their journey.

First law of belief:  When you find the truth, you want to get yourself an outfit.

Second law of belief:  The greater the ignorance, the greater the temple built to it.

The philosopher’s law:  Philosophy is the study of eight words: Truth, Good, Beauty, Reality, Being, Mind, Form, and Substance, each defined by the other seven.

Law of the campfire:  The smoke blows to wherever you are sitting.

Law of the freeway:  The slowest lane is whichever one you’re in.

Law of the public smoker:  The problem with people who smoke in public is less that it’s going to kill them than that it doesn’t do it fast enough. (Corollary:  Law of the smoker in outdoor cafes is identical to the law of the campfire.)

First law of tennis:  You can’t beat all of the people all the time, nor can you beat some of the people all of the time, nor can you beat all of the people some of the time, nor can you beat some of the people some of the time.

Law of Progress:  Paradigm shifts await a critical mass of dead adherents. (Corollary:  The life expectancy of the last necktie is about twenty years.)

Law of Nutrition:  The healthier it is, the worse it tastes.  Conversely:  The worse it tastes, the healthier it is.  (Extrapolation:  Ideally we should eat dirt.)

The 3 Laws of the Upscale Restaurant:  (1) The greater the cost, the smaller the portion; (2) eating is a visual experience; (3) the propriety of any desert is inversely proportional to its popularity (as measured by the menu at any diner or truck stop).

The Law of Contemporary Parenting: A child unencumbered with adult-organized sports, lessons in every skill, and tutoring in every subject is a child in horrifying freefall.

Law of Packaged Thinking (Third Law of Belief):  If you know one’s opinion on any topic, you pretty much know their thinking on everything else.  (Corollary:  If you know one’s political affiliation, you don’t really need the sample topic.)

Law of the Stand-Up Cocktail Party:  If two people seem deep in conversation, they are in fact only awaiting the intrusion of some jovial extravert.

Law of the Polarized Society:  The loneliest place in any debate is in the middle.

Law of the Final Answer:  The meaning of life is the quest for the meaning of life.

Law of Conversation: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Law of Chamber Music:  If you ever wrote a trio for harp, cymbals, and bass drum, you would need a guy who could play the harp really loud.